Wives in Captivity

Wives in Captivity

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery”.           

Galatians 5:1 (ESV)

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature (pride, arrogance, sexism, misogyny, self-centeredness, control, abuse, religious legalism). Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.     

Galatians 5:13 (NLT)

“If you listen to these commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you will aways be on top and never at the bottom”

Deuteronomy 28:13 NLT

We need to understand that Jesus’s Kingdom is about love, freedom, and collaboration as He calls us to be one, as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. The purpose of God’s Word is to know the truth that’s sets us free (John 8:32). The enemy’s goal is to put people in captivity. The dictionary defines captives as being under the control of another but having the appearance of independence. Jesus came to set the captives and the oppressed free (Luke 4:18).

When I chose to receive Jesus’ gift of salvation in 1995, I started reading the Bible to know His will and ways to follow. When I read all about wives, my spiritual discernment was sounding alarms and red flags. “This cannot be right” I told myself, “God is not an oppressor, a dictator or tyrant”. His style of leadership is love, humility, servanthood, and unity.  God cannot create inferiority, or it would mean that He is inferior. He would never create one human to be subordinate to another whether by race or gender, but the devil would. God hates attitudes of superiority. See my blog “Scriptures Against Attitudes of Superiority”, for the numerous scriptures.

I knew there had to be something wrong with the translations and possibly the mindset of the men who were translating. Before Jesus was born on the earth, paganism (the belief in multiple gods) was rampant and everywhere. People were also following the teachings of the philosophers, Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates that were all born before Jesus’ time. These philosophers had no value for women expect what they could do for them. Often referring to women as "the weaker sex”, they argued that being born a woman is a divine punishment, since women were halfway between a man and an animal. (John Temple Bristow, 1988).  It was all about men using their physical stature to have superiority and gain control. These ideologies are still being taught as theology today.

What an afront to the Father to take His Holy scripture to continually put His daughters down with misinterpretation and inaccurate translations. Let’s not be deceived to assume that the Bible was translated 100% accurate.  There is a reason we have over 60 different translations of the Bible just in English. Do not assume that all lexicons and concordances are 100% accurate either.  The devil can manipulate anything from human thought or hands. Bible translations were filtered through that pagan, male superiority mindset, it is not from God! (To get the more accurate translations from humble male theologians, see recommended reading below).

In 3 John 9-11, John talks about Diotrephes who had a domineering character. He loved to put himself first and be in charge.  When John talks about him, he states “don’t imitate what is evil, but imitate that which is good. Whoever does good is of God; whoever does evil has not seen God (does not know Him at all)”. John the apostle of love considers domineering attitudes evil!

Think about it, why is it that a single woman can have all the freedom and is led by the Holy Spirit but once married she must be led by a man? The idea of hierarchy or that “only one can lead” is very business and worldly centered. Jesus’ Kingdom is opposite of how the world functions.  The Bible says not to copy the behaviors and customs of the world (Romans 12:2).

Kingdom Leadership is not about being first but last (Matthew 20:16). It is not expecting to be served but to serve (Mark 10:45), it is not about being the most important, it is about thinking others as more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).  It is not believing or acting like you are superior /arrogant and prideful, which God hates (Prov. 8:13), but being humble (James 4:10). It is not about putting wives or women down (verbal and emotional abuse) and constantly blaming them for Eve’s sin but understanding that sin didn’t enter the earth when she ate the forbidden fruit but when they both ate of it. 

Kingdom leadership is about collaborating as one body, honoring women and wives (1 Peter 3:7, Prov. 31:10, Prov 11:16) and serving one another. God created them male and female to govern the earth together (Gen. 1:27) and to submit to one another’s (Eph. 5:21) spiritual gifts, talents, strengths, and anointing. We don’t submit to gender. Chromosomes and biology has nothing to do with leadership. God’s Kingdom is spiritual not physical. Gender is physical. Leadership is learned. God asks leaders to be competent by having the proper transformational leadership skills, mature character, spiritually and emotionally, and display the fruits of the Holy Spirit, which has nothing to do with gender.

The dictionary defines blasphemy as trying to take the place of God. Husbands cannot take God’s place above wives, or that would also be a sin of idolatry. Satan’s goal is to always try to take God’s place and influence others to do the same. The Bible quotes Satan as saying “I will raise my throne”, “I will be like the Most High”. Satan wants to be the superior being with all authority. He influences insecure men with identity issues through pride, prejudice, arrogance, narcissism, misogyny, to constantly, devalue, degrade, divide, and be hateful. God didn’t give us His Word to discriminate, abuse, and exclude His daughters. The Bible says, “I can do all things through Christ” (Philippians 4:13).

As church leader Kris Vallotton explains in his book Fashioned to Reign:

“When applying scripture in a way that is unredemptive, disempowering, oppressive, or dishonoring, it violates the nature of God. It undermines the purpose of the cross and it results in slavery and gender prejudice against women. The Bible was never written to use against one another or to manipulate someone into doing your will. The Word of God is not a list of rules to control someone it is a set of values for wholeness. How did marriage get to be all about fulfilling the dreams of the husband while the wife keeps the house clean? The Bible is not about demanding husbands who reduce the daughters of God to sex slaves and housemaids”

Has anyone ever heard a women say “That’s the man I want to follow” when looking for a husband? Kingdom women don’t look for leadership in a marriage, we look for love, respect, partnership, collaboration, unity, and possibly physical protection when needed.  The leadership we all need is from Holy Spirit.  A confident mature man does not have a need to be worshiped, to put others down to feel empowered, or have the last say. Arrogance does not equal confidence. A confident man’s identity is in Christ not in his maleness. The best leadership team in God’s Kingdom on earth is male and female made in God’s image governing together (Genesis 1:26-29).  This was always God’s original design before sin entered the earth.

I call the complementarian view of marriage comply-anism, because as long as the wife complies with the husband, then everything will be alright. It is wrapped in gender roles which are manmade since God’s Kingdom is spiritual. Women staying home to raise their children is very honorable, we chose that I stay home to raise our son.  However, I also don’t judge, shame, or condemn the women that choose to go to work for whatever reason.  There is freedom in the Kingdom. Many women in the Bible were entrepreneurs, businesswomen, and ministers. (See Recommended Reading).

The comply-anism view becomes toxic when men take inaccurate translations and pagan interpretations to continually put the King’s daughters down to feel empowered, and to limit or constrain them, it is part of the devil’s playbook. They don’t mind devaluing women, dominating them and treating them as their housemaids. When women choose to stay home to raise their children which is a full-time job, the expectation from these men is for the women to do all the domestic chores, so they don’t have to.  A homemaker is a manager of a home not a maid. All those who dirty the house should clean it!

Research proves that when couples share responsibilities, equal decision making, and balanced division of labor, marriages tend to be happier, with less divorce. They have higher level of marital satisfaction, more stability, and higher sexual satisfaction for the women than those who follow “gender roles” and male “leadership”.

Only 18 % of wives in comply-anism have stated that they are happy in their marriage. (see blog “A Healthy Marriage” for more information). These wives are miserable because they feel overwhelmed and dominated. They are also taught that feelings are irrational, to suppress them, and just be grateful for what they have. It is all about the husband having his needs and wants met. Over 50 years of studies show that “spousal abuse continues to be more than 300 percent higher in traditional marriages than in egalitarian marriages”. (2001 Barna research)

Comply-anism is not Biblical as they like to assume. Nowhere in the original Greek text of the Bible can you find the following:

-          Nowhere does it say: Women were only created to be wives and mothers. Women who followed Jesus and Paul were businesswomen, entrepreneurs, and ministers of the gospels in all fivefold aspects. The Bible speaks clearly of women funding His ministry and out of the three that were mentioned, only one was married.

-          Nowhere does it say: It is the women’s job to do all domestic chores

-          Nowhere does it say: men were created to lead.

-          Nowhere does it say: Men have spiritual authority or any authority or leadership over their wives – the more accurate translation for head is source.

-          Nowhere does it say: husbands are the providers. Jesus serving His bride was not about His carpentry.  Jesus went about doing good and healing all those who were oppressed (Acts 10:38). What Jesus provided was redemption, healing, restoration, forgiveness, freedom from the curse that sin established.

-          Nowhere does it say: Women are men’s assistant. The Hebrew word Ezer was translated as helper but it actually means “warrior, strength, power, and rescue”. It is the same word used for God in the strong way He rescues us. It is a battle word.

-          Nowhere does it use “headship”. If God had ordained male headship, He would have sent the angel to Joseph first to tell him that he would be the father of the Son of God instead of sending the angel to Mary first. Next Mary’s father would be told. Mary would have been the last to know if male headship had been God’s plan.

People must realize that what we have are translations and interpretations of the Bible. As well as understanding that we are in a spiritual war. The devil can take anything from human thought and hands to manipulate, deceive, and abuse, including translations.

Abuse happens when:

-          there is an imbalance of power and control. This happens when insecure people with identity issues think they are allowed to rule over another, control, and have the last say.

-          Men think they are superior while women are inferior humans = pride, arrogance, self-centeredness, sexism, misogyny.

-          We dehumanize and devalue women –  as worthless, untrustworthy, inferior human being.

-          Obsession over status and titles

-          Sense of ownership or entitlement

-          People have unhealed wounds and hold on to unforgiveness, so they lash out at others in anger. They have not learned emotional intelligence – how to manage their behavior.

-          People have also not bothered to learn, humility, empathy, effective communication and conflict resolution skills

The Bible says to

-          Be humble (1 Peter 5:6-7)

-          Think of others as more significant than yourself (Philippians 2:3)

-          God hates pride and arrogance (Prov. 8:13)

-          Unity not division (Eph. 4:3) (1 Cor. 1:10)

-          We are one (John 17:21-23), no one can be over the other if we are one

-          No favoritism in the Kingdom (Rom. 2:11)

-          Don’t follow the behaviors of the world (Rom. 12:2) – the worldly business mindset of hierarchy and only one can lead, head as ruling or being the boss. We need to stop westernizing and paganizing the Bible.

The Devil’s play book

The devil uses the weakness, wounds, insecurities, and identity issues of humans to influence them to do his will in the earth.

-          Pride

-          Arrogance

-          Haughtiness

-          Self-centeredness, Narcissism

-          Power and Control

-          Abuse

-          Oppression – unjust treatment or control

-          Misogyny, sexism, chauvinism, racism, gender prejudice

-          Division

-          Ruling over other humans

-          Slavery of humans

-          Fear

-          Insecurities

-          Spiritual abuse – using “Scripture” or inaccurate translations, to put down, shame, gaslight, control or abuse others

-          Continually blaming all women for the sin of Eve without looking at what Adam did which was worse. Adam also chose to eat of the forbidden fruit, he then went on to blame God and Eve – even then, they were both redeemed by the blood of Jesus so the blaming should stop!

All of which the Bible says God hates.

The Bible says to stay away from people that are narcissists (love themselves more), puffed up with pride, ungrateful, unloving, that slander and put down, that betray (with any form of abuse), that are cruel and hateful and have no self-control (which includes with sex) (2 Timothy 3:1-5). These men are not known to repent; they love having the control. So many women have said they wished they would have left their toxic and or abusive relationships or marriage years sooner (see blog “Abuse IS Grounds for Divorce”)

Conclusion:

There is no freedom in someone ruling over you, who thinks they are in charge, taking your rights away, and having the last say. Jesus died to set us free, not just from an eternity in hell but so we can live our most fulfilling life here on earth (Jer. 29:11) – “on earth as it is in Heaven” (Mat. 6:10). He wants all of us to be His leaders and ambassadors to bring more people into His Kingdom so they can be set free. See my book Life in God’s Kingdom, How to Manifest Heaven on Earth. We all bring our unique spiritual gifts, authority, strengths, talents, and anointing to defeat the enemy and advance Jesus’ Kingdom of love in the earth. All God needs from anyone is a Yes (see my book Say Yes to Jesus).

We need to stop translating and interpreting the Bible through western, cultural, or pagan concepts. God’s Kingdom is spiritual, not physical.  Gender is to help procreate the world not to discriminate against half of humanity, dominate, limit, or exclude them. God never put restrictions on His daughters; we can do all things through Christ (Phil. 4:13). Gender roles are manmade not God made. It is an honor and privilege to stay home to raise our children but we don’t have to be treated like housemaids and sex-slaves. Raising children is a full-time job.

It is possible for two mature, humble, adult Christians, male and female, to co-lead and communicate effectively, respectfully, and emphatically to reach an agreement. What we submit to is one another’s spiritual gifts, talents, strengths, and expertise, not gender. It is possible to learn transformational leadership skills, emotional intelligence, and practice empathy and humility. It is possible to learn the more accurate Bible translations and interpretation from the humble men and women theologians to help women be set free from abuse and captivity.

Be free to be mighty for Jesus,

In freedom and might,

Jeannette

Recommended Reading

·        Let My Women Go! Setting Women Free From Oppression in the Church and in Marriage – Jeannette Treen

·         The Bible vs Biblical Womanhood – Dr. Philip B. Payne

·         How God Sees Women – Terran Williams

·         What Paul Really Said About Women – John Temple Bristow

·         Fashioned to Reign – Kris Vollatton

·         10 Lies the Church Tells Women and 10 Lies the Church Tells Men – Lee Grady

·         Life in God’s Kingdom, How to Manifest Heaven on Earth – Jeannette Treen

·         Say Yes to Jesus – Jeannette Treen

·         Before the Ring and Beyond, The Ultimate Key to a Healthy Marriage – Jeannette Treen