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Updated: Jun 12

The purpose of this blog is to give you a different perspective about how to see your spouse or choosing a spouse for marriage.

The spiritual realm is very much a military zone. You have an enemy that wants to steal, kill and destroy you (John 10:10). Many times, in the Bible, God is called the Lord of Host which means the Lord of the Army, speaking of His angels but we are also called His soldiers in 2 Timothy 2:3. Therefore, when we “Say Yes to Jesus” we enroll in His army. According to 1 John 3:8 Jesus came to destroy the works of His enemy. Today however, the blessings, promises and power of the finished work of the cross has been passed on to us to destroy the enemy (John 14:12).

In Ephesians 6:10-20 it talks about the armor of God. Notice that we don’t have any armor on our back. I believe that’s because as the body of Christ, we are to have each other’s back, especially our spouse’s. When choosing a potential spouse, we should be looking not just for physical attraction or how nice he seems at the beginning, but we should be looking for a Battle Buddy.


· should love you as Jesus loved His bride (Eph 5:25). Jesus left His Kingdom to serve her. He crucified Himself for her, to give her His best, to raise her up, not put her down.

· should have their confidence and their identity be in Jesus, not in themselves, therefore he wouldn’t have control or identity issues.

· would pray for you and with you.

· sees you as more important than their friends, family, work, or sports. The Bible states “the man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one”.

· will have your back for spiritual attacks, verbal attacks and physical attacks, which includes health issues, because those attacks will come. He would never be the source of those attacks.

· should not have wounds that need mending before battle. The wounds i'm talking about are your mommy and daddy issues and all the past or current hurts keeping people from being that Warrior for Jesus. Free to be Mighty! Before entering marriage, everyone should have their wounds healed first. You cannot go into battle full of wounds since you would be exposed to the enemy. The enemy can smell blood, and he can see your weaknesses. If you are constantly tending to your spouse’s wounds or dodging their darts and daggers (physical or emotionally abuse) then your backs would be exposed to the enemy. The same is true if you are constantly tending to your own wounds. Before getting in the US army for example, you must pass a physical examination to make sure you are healthy with no issues that would limit you being able to fight and protect. It should be the same before marriage.

We are living in a time where we need strong empowered women and the men who will support these women to run the race and fight together. Why do you think the enemy has been so adamant about keeping women silent, abusing them, oppressing them, treating them as slaves, using female infanticide, the deliberate killing of newborn female children in patriarchal societies? The devil knows how much of a threat women are to his kingdom. We need to awaken the inner warriors of women so they can become that threat! If men and women would rule and reign together the devil knows we would be unstoppable.

In the Beginning (Genesis 1:26-28), God gave both male and female the authority to rule and reign on the earth together which is why the serpent, the devil, wanted to take it away. However, Jesus gave us back that authority at the cross, along with His authority to trample the enemy and all of evil (Luke 10:17-20).

Ladies you were created to fight the enemy which is not supposed to be your husband. Jesus set us free from all curses and bondage. You were created to be warriors, not doormats or slaves. As Psalm 68:11 states “The Lord gives the command, the women who proclaim the good news are a great army and the kings of the enemies flee”. God created women to be part of His army and the devil knows it.

Don’t pick wounded men to fix and to save they need to seek their own counselling or inner healing and so do you, it’s called humility and maturity. Bringing all the wounds into the marriage is not fair to the other person. You should also feel content being alone before entering a relationship. Many people are looking for love in all the wrong places. God is Love (1 John 4:7), fill yourself with Him first. People can’t give to others what they don’t have.

The Best way to get a Battle Buddy is to let the Lord of Host pick him for you. God knows who is best for you. He created him with you in mind. Once you are both wound free, you will be able to have each other’s backs and together along with the power of the Holy Spirit, you can crush the enemy instead of the devil crushing you.

PS if you are single or divorced, friends can also be Battle Buddies, people that are there for you, that love you, support you, pray for you and have your back.

See my book, "Let my Women Go! Setting Women Free of Oppression in the Church and in Marriage - found on Amazon

Be free in order to mighty for Jesus!

in freedom and might,


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